'IT'S OKAY TO CRY'

My priest visited last month and one of the things he said to me was that it was okay to cry for yourself. I do; we all do. But I think we feel guilty about it. I think sometimes I feel that there is always someone worse than me. Perhaps there is, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't cry for myself.

I've been in some pain recently. I've been taking a 24hour pain pill plus perkaset as a break-out pill (taken when the pain breaks thru the 24 hour pill). And with the pain there is always some depression; some questions as to why? Why me? etc. I think that without the pain I'm strong enough to fight anything! I could even run a marathon! But this is not my reality. So, I need to do what I can to relieve the pain and go on with my fight on a different level.

So far I haven't heard from my doctor about the second opinion. Hopefully it will be soon because the longer I wait the more anxious I get. Especially when there is something that might help me.

I must remember that it's okay to cry. And for friends and family who are close to those of us suffering from Cancer, Please let us cry. Hug us, cry with us, understand where we are coming from. It would mean so much to us.

Confusion, Confusion, Confusion

Hi,

I am confused. I went to see a doctor at Mt. Sinai for a second opinion. The Cancer is not in the bone; it is not in the stomach; it is in the lymph nodes around the lung; it is getting worse in the liver and the pancreas. NOT IN THE BONE!! NOT IN THE STOMACH!! Glory be!

I do have another doctor to see on September 18. A volunteer from the AMI who is driving me to appointments recommended him. He is a 10 year Colon cancer survivor.

The Doctor at Mt. Sinai did recommend a different mixture of Chemo that might work in reducing the Cancer in the liver.

I cannot have the Whipple procedure (see archives) because the Cancer has spread to the lung, the lymph nodes and the esophagus.

I will see the third doctor, will take the chemo, will continue the fight. The pain has gotten worse but I am dealing with it. I will continue to blog with any and all info I can share. I will also post Stage 3 and Stage 4 Cancer.

Love you all!

A SET BACK BUT STILL FIGHTING

Hi,

I had a setback last Wednesday. The tests showed that the Chemo was not working and that the Cancer has spread to my stomach the other lung and in my spine. I am going first for an opinion from a top onchologist at Mt. Sinai and than another here at Orange Reginal. So know, that for now, I am NOT giving up. I do need the prayers of many and the good wishes you are all sending my way. Know that Life is a series of moments and each moment has birth and death in it.

Thank you for reading my blog and I do hope to continue to give you the best info I can.

Please all of you - send an email to Ellen and LaZy Boy for the chairs we need at the Cancer Center @ orange reginal Horton Hospital.

Thanks again.